Carolyn

October is National Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness month. It used to just be another month on the calendar but now it is a sacred time for me to pause, reflect and remember.  October marks the 5^th anniversary of our first pregnancy loss.  We went on to have 3 additional miscarriages that we have lost over the last 5 years.  October is also the month that we celebrate Seryn Annelise our soon to be 7 year old.

On October 21 I will be completing the Grand Rapids Half Marathon.  This is my 2^nd half marathon ever and a very meaningful run as the running community here in GR has brought a lot of healing to my #griefjourney.  I am honored to be raising funds for Miles with Maeve, an organization that supports families who’ve lost a child or a pregnancy during this training and racing season.  Garrett and Christine McAlister started this organization after losing their sweet baby girl, Maeve, at 37 weeks in 2015.  During our time in Kentucky my husband Jason and Christine were connected through employment at Asbury University.  We also had the same mid-wife for Seryn’s pre-natal care and the same doula supported us during her delivery that stood with them during Maeve’s. So I feel a kindred connection to these people and to the organization they started to carry on their daughter’s legacy.

Miles with Maeve has formed strategic partnerships with Little Angels Gowns, Faith’s Lodge, Now I Lay me Down to Sleep and Molly Bears.  Your support of my race will enable Miles with Maeve to gift intentional support to other grieving families.  Gifts of all sizes matter.

• A donation of $25 provides sewing supplies for heirloom Little Angel Gowns
• A donation of $50 can sponsor a family for a night atFaith’s Lodge retreat center
• A donation of $50 sends a care package to a grieving family in the hospital through Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
• A donation of $100 provides the funds for 2 custom-made teddy bears, weighted to a child’s birth weight, through Molly Bears

Thank you for considering supporting me as I run 13.1.  I run to honor my own babies and for the countless other babies that we lost too soon.  I run to honor the moms and dads that have shared this pain with Jason and I.  Running has been a huge vehicle of healing for me.  Through running:

*I have learned to focus on the next step.  It brings the massive weight of the grief in to a manageable piece of my life, not an overwhelming derailment of my life. I do the next right thing. I train by time or distance, I focus on the goal.  This skill developed through running also helps me in life.

*I have learned to trust my body and myself. After dealing with the pain of loss, both physical and emotional, I felt let down and angry at my body.  Running has healed some of that and I have learned to listen and trust my body.  When the going gets tough on the race course I draw from the resolve that I have done the training and I can trust my body to carry me through.

*I have learned to do hard things. Before last December I never trained outside in the winter.  Michigan winters are fierce, but so am I.  I developed an entire new sense of resolve by learning how to dress for and train in the right conditions.  When I take that inner tenacity and put it on display I hope I inspire others to do hard things and to test their own limits.

*I have learned the importance of community.  The older I have gotten the more introverted I have become.  That didn’t happen with age, it happened because grief was so isolating.  By running with my RBR Road Warriors and the virtual community, I have developed on Instagram (follow me at CJCRUNS) it has fueled my commitment on hard days. It has kept me encouraged when I needed it the most.

Thank you for your support!